whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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