Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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