Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
