Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
