this beer tastes like vomit already
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
