so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
