i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
