I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
