Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
