i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
