The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
