Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
