So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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