The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Fuck appropriateness.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
