So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
