Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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