just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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