how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
