Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
