i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
