I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
