Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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