Please, let me fuck your mom
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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