Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
