He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
