I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
