We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
