You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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