I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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