the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Are my feet made of real feet?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
A+ Viking dick
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
