dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
