3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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