Ambien. No doubt about it.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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