i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
