I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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