I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
