yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
