At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
only if we run a train.
done.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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