Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(719): View more from Colorado

okay pat passed out under dana's car

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(906): View more from Michigan

I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

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(574): View more from Indiana

I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.

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(810): View more from Michigan

woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?

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(734): View more from Michigan

the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.

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(312): View more from Illinois

There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.

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