Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
