Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
