Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
