You can't motorboat a personality
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
