So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
