You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
