sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
