I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
