wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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