well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
