Slut skills are useful in every country.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
